Love is an emotion; I believe it expresses how we feel about something or someone. It is a deep affection, pleasure, or interest that we want to share. What happens when someone is deeply in love with another person who does not share that same affection? Do you suffer from unrequited love and do not know how to move forward, or on the other end, how to gentle let that person down? Have they made your life uncomfortable, and you want them to move on to someone else? Then let us look at some ways to deal with this issue.
First, explaining what unrequited love is just if someone out there might not know what it means. Unrequited love has extensive feelings, an intense attraction, and at times an obsession for another person who does not feel the same way about you. It is basically a one-sided love that is not wanted by that person. They can feel that they have a strong bond with the object of their desires.
The unrequited love can bear thoughts of the one that the love will eventually love them if they keep on letting them know. They continue to present themselves to the ones they love at all times and places too. This is where the obsession can come about, leading to a nuisance to the person of their affection.
Issues With Unrequited Love
Second, now that you understand what unrequited love can look like do you suffer from unrequited love? Is this person constantly disrupting your life, and you cannot shake them? Perhaps, it is the other way around. You are the one in love with someone who is not in love with you and needs to know what to do. I will discuss both scenarios, and for more on the topic, visit Psychology Today.
For instance, the problem with unrequited love when it is directed at you makes you feel uncomfortable and wishing they would stop confessing their love for you. It sometimes makes people feel obligated to say it back even if they do not mean it because they feel put on the spot. Some people might not want to be left alone with that person as they cannot stand their intense longing for them.
Others might even feel trapped as they show up to places they are at, inserting themselves into your conversations, activities, or even dates. Making everything awkward as the people around you can see how much they care about you while you wish they would go away. Everyone else knows you do not love this person except the pushy chaser after your love. They never seem to read your signals that you do not care about them in that way.
At the same time, being the one in the unrequited love can feel heart-breaking, not having those feelings returned. Longing for someone who does not love you or even know that you exist. Your issue could also be that you are in love with someone who is not available; they are seeing someone else. In addition, what many might feel still being in love with an ex who is clearly over you.
Perhaps even while you are dating, you develop greater feelings for that person, and they do not see things going any further. It is a gut-wrenching, heart-tugging, and aching feeling to be in love with someone who dismisses your feelings so casually. The love you have for them means everything to you, and you cannot grasp why they do not share those same feelings. You try everything to get them to notice you, want you and love you back, but it is all in vain. Your love is just not reciprocated.
Dealing With The Unrequited Love
Granted, it can be an ego boost to have someone who is so madly in love with you that they want to do anything to make you happy. That they only see the good things about us and are always there for us whether we want them to be or not. If you are being annoyed by someone who is in love with you, and you do not feel the same way about them, have you truly told that person how you feel though?
Maybe subtle hints do not work on this person, and you need to be more direct. You cannot be accepting gifts from them, leading them on, or using them when it suits you as it is not fair to them. Yes, you might be irritated that they will not leave you alone, but we all know love is a powerful thing, so carefully handle their heart.
Try to pair them up with someone else who has similar qualities that you do, as that might be the reason why they are in love with you, to begin with after all. If you are with someone, tell them that you love the person you are with now, and even if your current relationship ended, you would still not be interested in them.
While on the other hand, if this is a friend who is in love with you, and you only see them as a friend, let them know that you value their friendship. Yet, you cannot keep this friendship going if they cannot let go of their romantic feelings for you. Sometimes giving a person an ultimatum can change the situation to provide you with a piece of mind finally.
Moving Away From That Unrequited Love
However, if you are the person loving someone who does not return your love, you need to find a way to let go of them. Take whatever it is that you love about them and try to find that in someone else. Your obsession could be blinding you to other great people out there who will share your same feelings.
It could be that you are just into the chase now after being rejected so many times by them. You do not want to give up because you want to see if you can win them over. Do not put yourself in that position anymore. It is time to move on and stop making that person uncomfortable with your constant advances towards them.
Remove all those romantic illusions you have of both of you being together. Try to look at things realistically and say to yourself; this person really does not love me in the same way. Even have a real conversation with them like really get to see how they are what they are about.
Your romantic fantasy might be clouding your feelings about what you think this person is like. You can also try to stop hanging around them all the time too. You could then see how you feel when you are not around them and take up some hobbies that take your mind off the situation. It could lead you to finally falling in love with someone else.
Furthermore, do some self-reflecting, and find out why you are so in love with this person who does not love you back. Maybe what you used to love about them is no more. You are filled with self-doubt that has kept you from moving on as you think you are not worthy of anyone else, which is not true. One rejection or more does not mean there is not someone out there for you who wants to love you for you.
The Unrequited Love
All in all, our love comes from the attraction of another person. Whether it manifests because of a sexual desire, the caring and tenderness we feel towards them, or the deep personal connection we have made, the unrequited love is a painful one. Suffering from unrequited love is not something anyone wants to go through. We all wish the person we were in love with would be in love with us too.
While on the other hand, if you are at the end of that unwanted love, it can be bothersome to deal with all the time. We should remember that the person we are not in love with is still a person with feelings, and we would not want anyone to stomp on our hearts. Please find a way to let them down easy and possibly help them to move on from you. While, if you are chasing someone who is not in love with you back, you really have to let them go to live their life. As the saying goes, if something is meant to be, then it will be, so do not force it and be a pest to your desire’s objection.
Until Next Time
Feature Pic By Nathan McBride, Main Pic By Mark Decile
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